...and put it on the internet again. One would think I'd be more careful than that....A note on revisions: 'The Thirteen Lucky Steps' was an article I wrote back in 2001. It was essentially a broad outline for a plan to dominate the world. The motivation for writing it had less to do with world domination and more to do with juvenile one-upmanship. At the time, I had my evil facade challenged in an IRC channel by the assumption that I had no actual world domination plot. About two or three hours later, I met the challenge with the original version of this plan. With the benefit of hindsight, it's quite apparent that the original document was riddled with immature and superfluous remarks, including an optional step inserted strictly for the purpose of making a "lucky thirteen" pun in the title. In light of that, I plan to make one or two revisions to the old 'Thirteen Lucky Steps' article, the first of which will be with the purpose of slashing superfluous comments, with the second being to flesh out each step in this broad outline to apply what I've learned in the interim since 2001.
Prerequisite: The following plan can only be carried out by someone born in the United States or one of its territories.
1) To make things easy on yourself, be the model citizen. Follow the rules, obey the laws, and set a strong example for your peers. Later steps will require a life slaved to public opinion and the news media, so you will want to minimize the likelihood of a scandal erupting by not supplying any actual material with which to manufacture such a scandal. Note that this instruction must be adhered to throughout the duration of your bid for world domination.
2) Begin your political career as soon as possible, first through volunteering and activism, preferably for a position of growing interest and popularity. From there, simply follow the logical path through college internships, until you've made a bit of a name for yourself in local and state-level political bodies.
3) When you have the political capital to do so, begin seeking elected office. Your goal for this step is a seat in the United States Senate, though depending on your age, available resources, and the incumbency situation, you may need to start with the House or a seat in your state legislature. Bear in mind that your objective at this point is not to push your own agenda, but position yourself for acquisition of higher office. That said, being popular is more important than being correct.
4) In the same vein as the previous two steps, make a run for the United States Presidency. Your goals in the following steps will require control over foreign policy, and though checked by Congress, it is the President who tends to have greatest control over foreign policy in the United States.
5) During your first term, your singular goal is to remain popular ... very, very popular. If you fail to get reelected, your trek to dominate the world will have ended, and if you are not regarded as one of the greatest Presidents in United States history, then the next step will be exceptionally difficult.
6) During your second term, press Congress and the states to repeal the twenty-second amendment. (It may be tempting to try to carry out the next several steps in eight years, reducing the emphasis on steps five and six, but in all likelihood, there is simply too much to be done in eight years.)
7) Now it is time to spend some of that built-up political capital by beginning a new age of Imperialism. This is a process unto itself, though in brief, you will want to paint relatively powerless, third-world nations as dire threats, justifying military action. After installing a puppet government, pressure the conquered nation into requesting statehood. All the while, you must remain conscious of public approval of your actions, as you must continue getting reelected during this part of the process. For this reason, make sure that your imperialistic maneuvering is framed as an elimination of threats and an effort to assist the down-trodden and oppressed.
8) Keep a strong focus on the rebuilding and modernization of the newest states of the Union. These new territorial acquisitions should be utilized to fuel a boom in economic and military power. During this buildup, begin an international information campaign, portraying the United Nations as an ineffectual body, in desperate need of replacement. Formulate that replacement as a multinational totalitarian government, with yourself at the top of the hierarchy. You will need some reasonable rationalization for placing yourself at the top, but by this point, the United States should ideally be the largest and most powerful nation in the world by every metric, so take your pick.
9) With your new multinational government in place, begin making decisions that intentionally contradict those of the constituent nations. Rule, either through decree or preferably a judicial process, that your governing body's authority is greater than that of the member nations. Eventually, this should lead to the overgovernment stripping away all sovereign powers of its member states.
10) Address any nations that refuse to submit to the overgovernment's authority. Any promising option will do, though acting through force-of-arms will likely be the most obvious solution by this point.
11) Cement your position by any means necessary/available. Previous totalitarian regimes have demonstrated that internal threats are often easily dealt with through propaganda (preventing resistance) and powerful secret police forces (eliminating resistance). Since the entire world will answer your overgovernment, there will technically be no external threats, though a powerful military/law enforcement body should be maintained to prevent any region from being able to reassert its independence.
Resurrecting a Classic
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BlueFlames
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Back in the day, when I still regularly wrote articles for the SSC website, one of my more well-received pieces was World Domination. Last month, I was rereading it, and some bits just weren't sitting well with me, so with some spare time available, I rewrote the plan...
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=BTM=
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Couldn't a series of bribes to the right hands fix that little problem?BlueFlames wrote: Prerequisite: The following plan can only be carried out by someone born in the United States or one of its territories.
If not I need to go on to my own plans for world domination, which would be more painstaking.
Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."
-Jack Burton
-Jack Burton
