It's only a game...

[Inquisitor]

Its only a game.

That gets said a lot. It gets used a lot to defend peoples actions when they do something that upsets someone. Sometimes its close cousin gets used: its only an internet forum.

To a great extent, its very true. Nothing in a game should cause grief, games should be entertaining, enjoyable, relaxing, challenging. They shouldnt be mean spirited and they shouldnt make you angry. If it stops being fun, stop doing it.

HOWEVER, we play games together for a reason. This is a safe haven for us. A place to shield ourselves from the jerks, the dicks, the people who get enjoyment from disappointing others, the folks who feed off of anger and pain. You know who they are, each game type has them, and each forum seems to attract its share. Were all here because we believe were NOT those people. Were here because we believe were better than that, and we believe we have surrounded ourselves with likeminded folks.

Sometimes, however, we make mistakes. Sometimes people arent likeminded, and that causes tension. This is our haven though, our sanctuary, our home, in a philosophical way. I dont know about you, but when people come into my home and start yelling, upsetting my guests and my friends, I get a little angry.

This, this place, is not just a forum and the games we play may just be games, but we play them together to avoid the trolls and the fools. So, while it may just be a game in any one instance, the way we have chosen to play that game means we take our relationships seriously. We take THIS seriously. Its our haven, our sanctuary, our home.

Words of advice, though, try not to take individual games, game mechanics, or game happenings too seriously, remember we are all here for the same reasons (or should be) and cut each other a lot of slack. Dont let any ONE game, any ONE act, any ONE mechanic, destroy the good will and friendship we have (or are trying to) build here. If it stops being fun, stop doing it, even if for only a short while.

If anyone actually has a problem, for goodness sake, tell someone, dont let it fester and then leave in some kind of fury after months of buildup. We may not be able to fix it, but at least we will try. Give us a chance, its a good bet you are here because we do share that vision of playing games to have fun, and if your fun is being ruined by someone or something, Id rather try to fix that than lose a comrade. The internet is full of jerks, the good people are few and far enough between. Again, we may not be able to fix it, but you can be sure well make some kind of attempt. It is only a game.

Anyway, that may not make any sense, and it may seem contradictory, maybe it is, this is all a very fragile balancing act. Remember that people take it seriously beyond the simple game mechanics, and remember that we are all here to have fun.

Before anyone asks, no, this post is not inspired by any recent or not so recent drama, I have been thinking about this for a while, and it seemed like a good idea to put it into words.

[Gryphon]

Heh - I should take a deep breath and read this on a regular basis

[BlackDove]

Get Anubis to tag this along with the "About" and "Why SSX".

It's a very good motto which everyone should be aware of upfront. It would remove a lot of the confusion that separates us from the norm. Even if we're not elitist bastards, which I hope we never will be, this institution we have here IS different from the usual compound.

"Please internalise this deep wisdom."

[Anubis]

I agree with BD here. Good motto, good read. Everyone could do with reading it. Overall a very nice post.

I assume you want me to turn this into a page for the main site then, going by what BD said?

[Inquisitor]

I just wanted to say it. I had no designs other than that.

[M.Steiner]

Great post Quiz, i agree, i think everyone should read this from time to time.

Gonna add it to the SSX-WoW Bladefist website right now.

[NF]

[Futile Resistance]

Not much for words when someone writes something as well thought out as that. So a simple thumbs up is all I can think of. Well, here's another

[Fenavian]

Sure, "it's only a game", but real people play the game and have real feelings.

[Gryphon]

Sure, "it's only a game", but real people play the game and have real feelings.

Yes. And real feelings never need apply if the game doesn;t matter in the first place! It's seems silly to get all antsy over a bunch of 1's and 0's.

[Inquisitor]

Not really my point, Gryph. I think it's very important to consider other peoples feelings. Saying it's "only a game" is no excuse to treat other people like doo doo.

And my other (possibly competing) point is: I will get a little worked up if my feelings are hurt, as it goes beyond any one game. Again, we play together for a reason.

Like I said, a balancing act, and sometimes we fall down.

[Gryphon]

Not really my point, Gryph. I think it's very important to consider other peoples feelings. Saying it's "only a game" is no excuse to treat other people like doo doo.

And my point is: I will get a little worked up if my feelings are hurt, as it goes beyond any one game. Again, we play together for a reason.

Like I said, a balancing act, and sometimes we fall down.

Agreed - I misunderstood ya.

[Inquisitor]

[Padishar]

Good Post

We should definately add this to the essential SSX thread

[BlackDove]

Added to the thread under "Some Perspective" - now only the site remains.

[Blue Star]

Any more like these and we'll need a Wiki to hold them in

As usual, great work Quiz

[firedancer]

very nice post. i am like feeling home when reading it

[Fenavian]

Not really my point, Gryph. I think it's very important to consider other peoples feelings. Saying it's "only a game" is no excuse to treat other people like doo doo.

And my other (possibly competing) point is: I will get a little worked up if my feelings are hurt, as it goes beyond any one game. Again, we play together for a reason.

Like I said, a balancing act, and sometimes we fall down.

QFT

That's one thing that really get's my wires in a twist. People get the impression they can say and do whatever they want because they are hiding behind a keyboard and monitor and they DON'T take into concideration the feelings of others on the other end of other keyboards and monitors.

"They are hundereds of miles away, why should I care what they think or feel, I will just do what ever I want."

It's sad but people actually think that way.

It would be the same as some jackhole comming on national TV and making racist derogatory remarks to a specific group of people, then saying you all shouldn't be offended because it's only TV. People are going to get offended whether we want them to or not. No one is going to react to the same situation the same way and people should understand that even though THEY think it's a game and anything said in a game is just BS or whatever, it may offend someone else.

But alas in a perfect world that would happen. So I guess that's why we should lead by example.

[Dodotorpedo]

I completely agree with this, I hate some of the people I meet in games sometimes, just yelling at everyone and acting like total assholes. It's just a game but I do play games about 75% of my free time. People should never use the 'it's just a game' routine too justify their own actions but people shouldn't become all mad at people becouse they don't take the game 100% serieusly xP

again, I agree 100%

[Fenavian]

It's not so much being mad because one doesn't take the game 100% seriously, its more about being mean and spiteful. It all comes down to respecting one another online.

[Chill]

for once i agree with something inquisitor says.

(altho nothing wrong with a bit of friendly trolling)

[Andrexea]

I really like this post and agree with it 100%. Very well thought out and written.

Another problem you run into is people act like jerks because there 100'drs of miles away and have nothing to fear from acting like a complete jerk to everyone as theres no fear of retalation. Alot of thies people have generally been greafed in one way or another irl so they use the net as there way to grief others to make themselves feal better.

As I said before very good post!!

[BlackDove]

A lot of these people have generally been griefed in one way or another irl so they use the net as there way to grief others to make themselves feal better.

Mmmmmmhm.

Pretty much, though I guess it's the natural curve of things. After all, the Internet is a fairly new creation that has been in popular use only for about ten years or so.

It's not really all that surprising that people use it as a release valve for their pent up emotions, which if they expressed at someone who is near them, they would reap consequences. Under the guise of anonymity, the general feeling seems to be that it's "the way to go" about their problems. Most of those however aren't even aware that the griefing online is expression of frustration that's been dealt to them by someone else.

We are sadly still the minority - the ones who have managed to isolate the problem and learned to abstain from that form of expression. Perhaps as years go on, general consciousness will rise...

Wishful thinking anyway...